EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING AND WHAT I THINK NOW IS THE QUESTION? ? ?
i wrote this article on 26/5/2006 11:46:32 PM and thought 2 publish it now
When I was small nearly school life, i use to think about those things which nowadays and then also people gave so emphasis, for example, like the small things which we people don't really care abt, as somebody said i was bitch which i didn’t care about but some will tell "why, who is she to call me bitch". When i came to know it was that "BIG EGO" which real didn’t existed in me only in some cases it did and this thought is still in me "we don't care" but people will make us care that. I think our generation is still bindass but still there are people commenting about others boyfriend." He's so dark in complexion", it doesn't matter to his girlfriend then why should it matter to others, cos the guy will sleep with his girl not with them. Well when i was small i didn’t thought of anything like a "AIM", I WAS LIKE IN A WORLD OF FAIRY TALE, THAT ONE DAY MY PRINCE WILL COME AND TAKE ME TO HIS CASTLE", well i think this too with Prince William but it looks nice in dreams cos if it really comes 2 be true it will loose all its beauty. Then i pass my class X met lots of, new friends, new experiences, pranks, games etc and we used to tell lie to our parents but didn’t knew we will be caught cos they have crossed this life to ...at first we used to tell this dialogues but its worth telling and we know its taste when we experience it...now as im growing old, now i have been realizing that im maturing and im feeling it too, cos now if my younger bro lies 2 me he gets caught ...as i know what i will do if im in his place ...all these are the miracles of experiences. Imagination is something very beautiful "JOB" for me to do. Its fun u can be anyone anywhere. Then comes about a girls life, at first any other girl thinks getting married to a rich family, bla bla bla...but what if ur man doesn't loves you...here comes the problem u get the man of ur dreams, but as usual the trouble" dad n mom"...unsatisfaction of life, u then think "all our deeds result"...as one of my frens say its "D BIG GENERATION GAP" well its true but it may be parents are not wrong also because they are the "EXPERIENCED ONE" but no one thinks abt the situation of the girl .Dad n mom stick wid their ideologies of "ESTABLISHEDMENT,RICH N ABOVE ALL REPUTATION" well does one gets everything(cause if everyone got everything then who will turn to GOD) and here come the word" COMPROMISE" which comes before the word LOVE in the "OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY"...its pretty easy to compromise when u get a man who loves u and parellely respects ur thoughts deeds(which must not be of materials).Well i can put here a ??Why do parents expect so much from their child?? Maybe (as one of my pal says) my moms have carried me in her tummy for 9 months and she knows everything about me (behind the thing i do behind her back) and she sees some inborn talents in me and so she expects. Well but my generation people or only me thinks after all, this is my life i will do whatever i want.... is this my life... no ...i think its better to expect nothing from their children, then they will get less affect in their heart then the maximum. Anyways i think mom and dad married, brought me to this world (which im grateful cos because of them I can bring my present thoughts to you) then working, bringing me up n my bro, ...this goes on enjoying their life.........together, well its a tradition of human-beings. Yes, one thing they stab their wishes into their child which later the child had to regret and the parents telling"dont worry, everything happens for its own good" and the rest is history. Blaming God. Poor God, actually i think no one understands god instead of thanking God after a good day, people pressures god about HIS OR HER problems. Well God has given man the" BRAIN" so we are man not animals (difference between us and monkeys) so we have to use it .God has so many other problems too. I read once "life is a stone, god has given us the cutter to crave it" so why we trouble God by blaming him, actually we are afraid of taking the blame to ourselves and we rescue from ourselves. Well this is the age when we make our "OWN PATH" this is the time we cut the grasses which grow in our path. Well some says no boyfriends "BARRIER TO CAREERS" well its up to you how u maintain it, but one thing sure u get "REAL LOVE" only once, you people will tell now this are all SAID STUFF, it is, because its TRUE. In this period of time (16-21 maybe) this depression all sucks and GIVES US a REAL DECISION of SUCIDE, some of them dies thinking not to handle the pains of life, we call them COWARDS. Actually it takes COURAGE to die.
Lets come to the former topic"dealth". No one knows what lies after death, this is very CLEAR to all well if it comes like if i and my lover die we will meet in heaven ...well if my mom and dad die after us then they will meet us obviously there.(if they dislike my boyfriend in EARTH then how can they like him in hell or whatever...again like LIFE ON EARTH).Then SHIT....
WELL ONE POSITIVE THOUGHT to everybody that means everybody...from a drug addict to a good citizen...from a prostitute to an ideal wife. From a beggar to a professional singer... from a thief to a police.... i mean every body. We are living ...that is something we are preparing to die. We are going to die one day. It's the perfect lie and truth of life and we have to accept it as from ages people have said (which is real WORTH OF) is that what u are doing be happy with that (think one thing U R ONLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT so you are doing) so live n enjoy ur present as no one has seen the future and stop holding ur past cos it will give u nothing but harass ur CONSCIENCE (don't get me wrong cos im not telling about ur SWEET MEMORIES but of ur SOME BITTER PAST AND THOUGHTS) as we are sentimental fools who hold our past or others and make ourselves unhappy along with the other one ...what is this DO WE WANT TO BE HAPPY??? The answer is in our HAND.